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Velcra: Consequences of disobedience

09/04/03  ||  Lord K Philipson

“Oh yes. This is the stuff. Finland’s VELCRA [10] mix the best elements of Senser and Lacuna Coil and inject a violent smash of guitars recalling Pantera at their most savage. But it’s Ebola’s remarkably strong female voice that really grabs your attention, switching from full on sexy melodies to a certain aggressiveness without sounding silly. A record deal almost seems inevitable. Now where’s that repeat button? Metal Hammer 09/2000”

Taken directly from their website. “Pantera at their most savage”? Fuck me with a hockeystick, the one that wrote that should quit doing LSD.

Yesterday.

Just becoz you have distorted guitars doesn´t mean you sound like “Pantera at their most savage”. No, this doesn´t sound like Pantera, no matter how much they want themselves to. I have one name for you all when it comes to comparisons: Guano Apes. Ironically enough they have been supporting the Apes on some tour and shit like that. This might sound like I´m bashing Velcra, but trust me, I´m not. I´m just saying they don´t sound like “Pantera at their most savage”. This is a very solid album. Commercial? Yes. Hitsongs? Yes. Metal? A little bit. Hard enough at times to be included at this site anyways. It´s all sing-along friendly and nice, choruses with more hooks than the complete wardrobe of Running Wild. I´m a big fan of Guano Apes and I must say Velcra does a good job at ripping their style while adding some own flavour to the cake. They use more electronics and they do it in a good way.

By the way, I´m not sure if the whore on the cover is the chick in the band itself but I wanna give that whore the coyote 24/7. Just wanted you to know that.

There are no bad songs on this album and they could pretty much make it all to being 7 inches. It´s that catchy really. I like the cunt´s voice, especially when she sings instead of screams, the screaming parts are almost more Guano Apes than the Apes themselves. You all know I´m a sucker for female vocals, if it´s not the chick from Beseech that is, and Ebola (smart name you fucken idiot) impresses me. I can see why they made the song “Big brother” (smart title you fucken idiots) a single. It´s so catchy even the flu pales in comparison. What I have a hard time with though is the fucken rapping-shit. Bands rapping must be fucken shot, atleast if it´s supposed to be rock and roll. But nevertheless, I´m impressed.

I dig this crap.

Can I fuck the chick now? I´m sure she wants to, I´ll be her best 666 seconds ever.

7/10.

  • Information
  • Released: 2002
  • Label: Virgin/EMI
  • Website: www.velcra.com
  • Band
  • Jessi: vocals
  • OJ: guitars, programming
  • Mikko: drums
  • Gunnar: bass
  • Tracklist
  • 01. My Law
  • 02. Big Brother
  • 03. Shine For Me
  • 04. Not Against Me
  • 05. Solar Red
  • 06. Tension
  • 07. Removed
  • 08. Can’t Stop Fighting
  • 09. Made To Fail
  • 10. Test Animals
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